Before I die from this..

Hello,

I have used forums like these before. The one I was a member of before no longer exists. So here I am. Hoping that I can get some support, some edge.

I am 6'2 and weight 375 pounds. I am 23. I have a full time job, and a car. I have family in the area. I have access to a gym/pool/walking paths next to river. I hate veggies, can't eat them.

Two months ago I decided I needed to change. I am not going to bore you with the abuse that happened as a child, I was adopted at 11, and it took me till now to have the emotional focus to look at my weight. I make no excuses, it's my fault. I take ownership of my weight.

I travel a lot, and two months ago I realized that younger people are looking up to me, (my job has me working with a -lot- of youth). I also realized that my little sister who is almost 3 (also adopted), is going to mimic my habits. I don't want her to get to see my fat as a normal thing. I want her to be healthy. I want to be healthy.


I lied in the post, it was more like one month ago. One month ago I decided to cut out soda completely, I also decided to cut out all fast food (but Subway, and only select sandwiches at subway). You may roll your eyes at these steps, they were large habit changers for me. And I have kept them perfectly. I also have limited myself to one sugar drink, and one sugar food per day. This was also a big deal for me.

I am having a hard time figuring this stuff out myself. I don't know where to start. I have failed to insert exercise into my daily life. I can't get a start at it for some reason.

Where should I go from here? I am not looking for a quick fix, I am looking for habit changing behaviors. I want to change, I want to be healthy.

I am drinking about 1.5 liters of fiji water a day.

I am somewhat depressed.

I have been cleaning a lot.

I am a Christian.

Seemingly I have people who care/and support me.

I don't want to die.

 

Life is touch.. everyone has to faces life..

I like the idea of you your little sister is looking up to you.. I know that I was like that with my brother.. and i still do, coz the example he is giving me with my life is amazing, without him in my life, i would not be here today... But enough about me...

Have you ever heard about your mind is greater than your body.. it is the same as how you feel... i mean you had a touch life.. and no offence but i don't think you came over that fact about it.. you are depressed.. Make your life more possitive.. Go and set yourself goals in the morning, and take step by step to achieve them.. But achieve them..

YOu need to be focus in your mind to achieve, how you want to look.. do it for yourself, then do it for your little sister.. and explain it to her while she grows up... you will see a difference...

Be focused, be positive, set goals for the day, take step by step.. follow healthy foods, do some exercises.. even if it is sit-ups and just do 5 of them.. you will see a diffrence, when you set your mind to it, anything is possible.. be positive..

 

Everyone has a story. There are no quick fixes. You have to really want this or it's not going to happen. The first thing you need is patience and know that it may take more than a year to get to your ideal "healthy" weight. But a year is going to pass and it will go by quickly, always remember that.

You need to find out what caused you to turn to food for comfort. That is more important than anything. You can exercise till your blue in the face but if you continue poor eating habits, you will get no where.

Take this slowly but don't deprive yourself. If you want something sweet just make better choices and buy single serving sizes so you don't eat a whole pint of ice cream for example.

Start walking....just do it, there is no better saying than that. Plan on walking only 15 minutes each day. Once you're out there you will do more and if not that's ok, you did something.

As for veggies.... what about salads? Combine romaine and spinach but use lite dressing and use it sparingly. Cucumbers??? There must be something you like.

Well I hope this helps a little. Get to the root of the problem. Listen to a motivational CD, Tony Robbins is awesome.

 

Continue strengthening your willpower in the small things by making commitments and keeping them. You will eventually be able to make bigger commitments and keep those as well.

Small victories lead to big victories.

 

I am not a nutritionist nor a psychologist so what I say should be taken with a grain on salt but I can read and I can think and those qualify me for opening my mouth.

Losing weight is not just a formula of calories in, calories out. There are those that will pop in here and tell you different. They will tell you that every pound of fat is 3500 calories and if you cut 500 per day, you will lose 1 lb a week or flip that if you burn 500 more per day then you lose 1 lb.

I want to say BULLSHIT!

There are good calories, and bad calories.
This book makes a lot of sense
http://www.amazon.com/Good-Calories-Bad-Gary-Taubes/dp/1400040787

I will tell you, watching my daughter who is fat, My wife that fights weight, my mother that fought fat and several friends that were fat that if you want to lose weight, you MUST give up sugars and you must throw away the donuts, the cereals, the cakes, the pastas and all the things you know are bad that you say you give up and yet you don't. Get rid of the subway buns, they are bad. Get rid of that one deadly sugar drink a day and drink tea or water. Throw in a lemon if you need a flavor.

I could go on but the type of calories you intake programs your body to store or burn fat. If losing fat was all about calorie balance then every fat person in the ghetto would be thin as a rail but they are not because they eat foods that trigger fat storage. My guess is you are too. If it were all about fats you eat and red meat and blah blah blah then there wouldn't be fat vegans yet there are fat vegans, they eat bad calories and get fat. There is also a genetic factor but that is out of your control so disregard it and don't use it as an excuse, manage your area of control and win.

Not sure what Christian has to do with losing weight unless you guilt eat from the warped crap they crammed in your head.

and as David said, celebrate the small victories, just not with a meal. Maybe a nice imported bottle of water or a walk around the block.

 

I agree, just take it step by step.

 

Hi invoke!

firstly ... welcome to the vibe! :wave:

Wow, i hardly know where to start! firstly .. there are many people on this site that can give you some really good, solid advice about how to get rid of the weight and keep it off ... and yes, as i say, their advice is good! ... very good! ... it's based in science, and it works ... and in no way am i minimising it ... at all ...

i do feel however, that it's not the only answer ... there are other factors at play ... namely, the psychological factors ...

so, what gives me the right to say this? ... well, let me introduce myself. I'm Ali and i am Australian. i am 5 ft 7 and have been "fat" (i hate that word, its been used negatively for way too long) for as long as i can remember. i am 38 years old and i weigh about 200kg (about 475 lbs) ... ive been exactly where you are! ... and i still am ... near the end of 2004 i had weight loss surgery (stomach stapling) and since then, with a lot of really hard, focused work on my part, and a lot of support from family and friends, i shed 60kg (136lb) ... since 2007 i have stagnated a lot on my continued journey ... and i can tell you, in my personal opinion, born of both this experience and of study in psychology ... this all comes back to the psychology

get it right in your head, and the rest will follow ... having said that, as others have already said, making small changes will help the psychology! ... cutting back on a lot of the sugars and "bad" foods will make a difference ... just over 12 months ago i made one decision ... and it has made a huge difference in my energy levels, confidence and my mobility ... i chose to stop buying junky lunches for work ... i now eat tuna, soups, salads, healthy sandwiches etc ... in that time i have probably had only a handful of lunches that would be considered unhealthy ... i feel better for it physically, and it is keeping my weight stable ... i havent "lost" any ... but nor have i gained any ...

so, my suggestion for you would be to get yourself a GOOD psychologist and start exploring the why's and hows of what has gotten you to this point ... it has made a big difference for me, and whilst it has been (sometimes extremely) painful, it has also been rewarding to learn more about myself and how i tick ... and i wouldnt change a thing in my journey to date ... i still have things i need to work on ... and i know i need to do it ... i have lots of stuff that still needs to be explored ... i also know that i WILL get there

my first question to you invoke ... is this ... why now? ... what makes NOW the time for you to make these changes?

i have some other things i would like to share with you, specifically related to your early experiences with adoption and the like, but they can wait for another time ... for now though, i will share with you that i am a foster parent and have worked in child protection ... so i have some experience with that kind of stuff as well ...

so, why now? ... and remember ... small changes now can make a BIG difference down the track!

sending you some positive vibes and thoughts,

Ali

 

hi again invoke...

i just re-read your post and have decided that i have another question to ask you ...

you say that "seemingly i have people who care/and support me" ... the "seemingly" in there intrigues me ... could you tell me more about it?

thanks,

Ali

 

Give yourself some well-deserved props for making changes to your diet and more importantly, sticking to it. That indicates that you have more will-power than you realize. Continue to make better choices and changes to your diet. No matter how small the change is, recognize that it is progress. One good decision leads to another...and another...and another...and so on.

as for the exercise,you don't have to dive into some intense workout program right away. Start small. Momentum will take care of the rest.

Once you start seeing results in your physique and health, you will become more motivated and committed.

 

First off thank you everyone, for the replies, I can't explain how much it means to me.

Angel,

I feel valuable. For years I felt like I was fooling people around me, but I started to realize on a trip to DC that I was really respected. I had a reputation. People felt that I was worth something. And once I believed in that value..I was able to understand that to increase that value I would need to make a change. A serious change.

But it could be more simple then that, it could be the failure of a recent relationship. It could be the urge to fit in with the world better. It could be that I am turning from a young adult, into a "real" adult. I can't say for sure where this came from, and that does frighten me to be honest. It makes me insecure. For if it came from something unknown, this new drive..could it disappear as completely as it appeared?

It felt that way that night, I suppose I know that I have family who support me. Sometimes I feel alone though. I live alone, and some nights are darker then others. You wouldn't know it at work, I am a bright beacon there, and at Church. I just don't trust people..and find it hard to keep up super active relationships. That being said, there are nights where the darkness seeps in.

 

Thank you,

I am attempting this, but there is a part of me that hates what I have become. I find it hard to look myself in the mirror. I suppose that TR would say I could use that as leverage. It just depresses me. For so many years I have been completely blind to my weight, this took an immense amount of effort and brain tricking. Now that I see it all, it is a bit to take.

 

David and Scooter,
This is something that I ignored from previous lessons..the celebrating victories. Celebration does not have to happen internally. For example, when I succeed, I could treat myself to a bottle of Fiji water..and even if I don't feel like I deserve it..I can do it..it's part of a system.

And Scooter,
For me Christ is the one who has made the beginning of my transformation possible. I thought it was good knowledge for anyone who has gone through a similar situation who may have shared my faith.

Thank you both.

 

I will check in on this Saturday night. Will put it in my calendar to go on a walk.
It is something I have been grudging on myself to do.

 

Congrats on taking the first steps,

I started working on my fitness about 3 months ago. I cut out soda for the most part, I changed my diet a bit, and have tried to get my workouts going, but those haven't worked out well so far mostly due to time constraints. However I was able to take off 20lbs.

Someone had mentioned www.johnstonefitness.com and I found it really interesting and it helped provide a bit of extra motivation to get the ball rolling. Maybe it can do the same for you.

So far though I can say with only a few small changes I was able to take off some weight.

Good luck on your journey, and remember it takes time to build new habits, and exercise is a habit.

 

Invoke,
to me this sounds like you are really beginning to FEEL like you DESERVE to look after yourself ... it was the same for me ... i began to realise that i really do have something to offer the world, mainly because other people were doing and saying things that had me sitting up and taking notice ... i began to think "hey, these people really value and respect me ... maybe it's time i began to value and respect myself"!

and when i began to do that, the effect snowballed ... gained momentum

sometimes people go around in circle after circle after circle, trying again and again to change habits such as smoking, eating, drinking, drugs ... etc etc ... and then one day something clicks and the next time they do it, it's like some magic switch has been flicked and everything is different ... and in my opinion, the difference is the value they place on themselves.

i am just going to be blunt here and ask you a question .... is it really other people you don't trust? .... or is it yourself? ... could it be that you don't trust in your own worth as someone who is able to hold other people's attention, or to have whatever personal attributes it would take to draw people to you for more than short term? ... could it be that you have doubts about this newfound "wow, i actually have value" belief?

Invoke, this is all a very new thing for you right now ... it makes perfect sense that you would have doubts and uncertainties about your feelings, beliefs and attitudes. It makes sense that you would sometimes feel alone... and in darkness ... but remember this ... you HAVE made some changes in your life and have sustained them for a significant period of time ... that in itself means that something has changed inside you ... as others have said ... celebrate the small things ... and don't underestimate the long term effects of even small celebrations ... even something as small as a "woohoo, look what i just did!!!", accompanied by a hi-5, inside your head ... these little things create the momentum that others have talked about ... which then takes on a life of its own (if you let it)

and remember this one too ... you talk about your faith in God ... a wonderful thing for the people that believe in Him .... have you heard this one? ... "God don't make junk!" ... if you have faith in Him, then have faith in this one simple statement... if that statement is true, then it follows, by definition, that YOU have value! ... and again by definition, if you have value, then where you are in your life right now, you are there for a reason ... are you meant to be learning the things you are learning right now?

my thoughts and best wishes are with you Invoke!

Ali

 

was able tp take a walk by way of taking my baby sister and dog down to the river. just an update.

 

Invoke:
We all would stand by you no matter what... We can give you the advice you need.. we can motivate you, but there is a saying.. "you can lead an animal to the water, but we can't make you drink it." or it is something like that..

Always give an update...

 

and how was the walk for u?

 

Invoke - I just wanted to say Kudos to you for deciding to make some positive changes in your life, and for having to courage to share so much with us here & ask for advice. :tiphat:

 

so how are you doing invoke? :hmm::wave::yippee: