Marriage is great!

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by spdsvp, Jun 15, 2009.

  1. spdsvp

    spdsvp New Member

    Most men act like marriage is a death wish. I dont understand that. I love my wife and our relationship. I'm 29, been married 3 years and been with my wife for 7 years. I would be afraid to be single nowadays. There are so many unknowns when it comes to meeting new people. So many people nowadays cant even find true love and a spouse. There are so many single women age 30 plus its scary. I feel bad for them. More men need to act like adults and be real men by being great fathers and husbands. The player life is over rated.

    Just a few thoughts.
     
  2. Wanderer

    Wanderer Actio infinitus

    Hmmm, i don't know that fear of the unknown is a great reason to get married.

    Nor do I think the life of a player is the road to happiness.

    But I do think that everyone needs to decide for themselves what they really want and then go make that happen.

    So if you have done that, congrats. If not my commiserations.
     
  3. Auswithspirit

    Auswithspirit FIREWALKER

    WOW way to open up a can of worms , i am glad you have affirmed with yourself what you obviously believe to be the case but classing all single not married men as players is a bit out there dont ya think???
    First up ya have the fat ones and ugly ones and those who family members have a hard time loving?
    Plus the age group you are referring to grew up in an age of very high divorce counts , so a lot were either effected growing up and have seen the pain on the father , the financial burdens involved and the impact it has on a child either through there own experience or a friends or school mate or relative for that matter....unfortunately the divorce laws for most countries i believe are barbaric and have created a group of men who do not want to have children nor get married...so instead of condemning them all as players how about looking into the reasons :thumb:
     
  4. Cemiess

    Cemiess New Member

    I played for a couple of years and it was fantastic! I would meet one of 3 types of girls.

    1) Those who would be nice, who I wanted it to be more serious with
    2) Those who quickly turned into stalkers
    3) Those who were playing too (the best!)

    So in the playing game it's hard to find someone suitable for a permenant relationship. However, it's awesome if that's what you want.

    Now I've found my soulmate and I'm happy. But I wouldn't trade my player days for the world. They prepared me for my true love and made me a better person (more confidence, more experience) for her. I've also now got the playing out of my system and can settle down knowing that it doesn't get any better than what I have.

    That's not a negative statement, it's just that if you don't play, you always wonder. I just hope you don't live to regret not "playing the field".
     
  5. Joanne1216

    Joanne1216 Well-Known Member

    I'm age 40 + and single and I definitely don't need someone feeling bad for me. I have never been happier and meeting new people has been one very interesting experience for me. Now, would I rather be happy and married? Well, sure but I would also rather be single and happy than in a dead end relationship and be miserable.

    Also, dating in my 40's and meeting men in their 30's, 40's and 50's, some of them lost their wives to death, or their wives cheated on them, so many reasons why they're single and many not by choice.

    So Mr. spdsvp, congratulations on your happiness and may it last forever :thumb:
     
  6. KKPDX

    KKPDX Feeling Grateful Everyday

    Marriage is Great....

    I agree! I've been married almost 2 months now and I love it. :D

    Marriage ROCKS! :cool: (with the right person) ;)

    Kimberly
     
  7. cogdoc

    cogdoc Member

    ALL things change. ALL.

    Change with it and you'll do well.

    Personally I'm extremely grateful for 30+ single women.
     
  8. KKPDX

    KKPDX Feeling Grateful Everyday

    Did I mention marriage ROCKS? :D

    So freaking happy.... yes I am. :wave:

    Kimberly
     
  9. Go-Getter-Girl

    Go-Getter-Girl New Member


    Hey Joanne............ :wave:

    BUMP!!! BUMP!!! BUMP!!!


    WOW!!! Read this..........

    Just had to BUMP this thread for Joanne. :D

    Great words right out of your mouth!!! :yup:

    Joanne, you should take your own advice!!! :thumb:

    What happened to you????? :hmm:



    Take care,
    Hugs, :hug:
    GGG
     
    Last edited: May 27, 2011
  10. David

    David Gadzooks!

    I generally don't post in threads that are 712 days old, but I'll make an exception here.
     
  11. Joanne1216

    Joanne1216 Well-Known Member

    What happened to me? I grew tired. Week after week for two years of the same old crap. All the men that I wanted were unobtainable, the men that wanted me, I wasn't interested in.

    When I met Rob, it was a challenge and when we started seeing one another faithfully in June of 2010, it was so nice not to deal with the dating sites again.

    It was weird. I was happy seeing him 1-2 days a week and here we are a year later still together and seeing one another 1-2 days a week and I love it. I feel like I have the best of both worlds. I have my own place and I come and go as I please and on the weekend I get together with a man that I am attracted to. If I make plans with my friends, he's always invited and whether he chooses to come or not is his choice.

    What I am unhappy about is when he gets weird on me which happens more often that I would like but way less than it used to. Maybe he was hurt in past relationships? Who knows what his history is and how it affected him but at our age, we all have a history.

    I believe I am content because this prevents me from getting too close to anyone and getting hurt. I have the freedom I love without a jealous man.

    After my marriage I dated a man for three years. He was so possessive, controlling and jealous... he had to see me all the time... and then he left me for another woman. He is the reason I decided never to live with another man.

    Then there was Paul a year later and we dated for 10 years. Most of you know how that went when I started posting in 2006, that was already 8 years into the relationship. I can't even begin to describe how traumatic to my life that relationship was.

    There was no way I would live with either of them or marry them.

    Now here I am with Rob. He has never mentioned living together or marriage. I like that. He makes me laugh (when I don't want to kill him).

    I think for the most part I am trying to understand him but how can I when I can't even understand myself.

    The other day he asked if one weekend I would go to Lowes with him and help him get some stuff and fix up his garden with him. That freaked me out. I asked my coworkers if this meant he was getting too serious :biglaugh: See? I'm effed up too.
     
  12. tigerbunny

    tigerbunny New Member

    I believe this is your million dollar quote, right here. That's what a good therapist should be helping you do. Helping you to know yourself.

    I'm so sorry, dearest Joanne, I didn't know all that about your history. You don't need to not get close to a man, you just need a better early warning system. This is something that can be learned. I promise.

    I've recently had the experience of re-learning 'if I'm attracted to them, they're an alcoholic.' *sigh* I don't want to be with people I'm not attracted to. It's an annoying paradox. I'm working on it, oh you bet I am. I'm absolutely certain I can find, and be attracted to, interesting fun people who are not alcoholics. I know it. I just haven't yet figured out how. But I will.
     
  13. KKPDX

    KKPDX Feeling Grateful Everyday

    I still completely agree with this! I've been married for over 2 years now and still so incredibly happy! :) Marriage is the best thing that ever happened to me! (once I stopped being so afraid of it!) :D And I'm sure glad my husband doesn't feel like marriage is a death wish. Something sweet that he said to me awhile back was "I never knew marriage could feel this good!" (and this is a guy who said he would NEVER get married again after having a very unhappy first marriage!) ;) Looks like he found the right woman. :D

    :loveit: :loveit: :loveit:
     
  14. KKPDX

    KKPDX Feeling Grateful Everyday

    Joanne,

    You are not effed up. You've been hurt a lot and are playing it safe. I really believe people have to do things their own way, on their own terms, and in their own time....:)

    My advice: keep your faith in people. (especially men) People can change their ways, turn their lives around, and become better people. It's happening everyday. We all know this to be true.....:thumb:

    Kimberly
     
  15. Joanne1216

    Joanne1216 Well-Known Member

    Don't be sorry silly. They were just bad relationships. I wasn't 100% innocent myself in these relationships, I played a role as well.
     
  16. Joanne1216

    Joanne1216 Well-Known Member

    Thank you Kimberly. This was very nice :)

    The man that I'm seeing, today will make it day 4 that we will be together. Now that's unusual for the both of us.

    I believe he has some serious commitment issues which is fine because so do I, so who knows, we may be a match made in heaven ;)

    I am very happy that your marriage is so wonderful. You deserve it chica.
     
  17. KKPDX

    KKPDX Feeling Grateful Everyday

    I hope you enjoyed your time together.... Trust me, I understand all about commitment issues. My husband & I were both there at one time. I really didn't believe I had any commitment issues :hmm:- until the day I finally got the commitment I had always wanted so badly, it kind of freaked me out. :D But I am so glad we were both able to push through our fears and have a better life together. :thumb: I really think you will know when the time is right. :) Like I said, keep your faith in people. (especially yourself!) You just never know how things will go...;)

    Thanks girl! :)
     
  18. KKPDX

    KKPDX Feeling Grateful Everyday

    P.S. We are talking about having a baby now too. (in the next year) We'll see. ;) You really never know how things are going to go in life! Crazy stuff!!!! :D :D :D

    :yippee:
     
  19. Stoic_Jason

    Stoic_Jason Great Member

    I don't think I'll ever get married. It would take a pretty radical shift in my being. But for those of you who go through with it, more power to ya :thumb:
     
  20. Joanne1216

    Joanne1216 Well-Known Member

    Really? Why? Have you ever been married?
     

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