As I'm starting this among the best of places. It's almost 11 AM I slept in and most productive thing I've done all day is going to the supermarket to get coffee and cereal. I've got a to do list today, for my work, and I've worked hard to get the tasks that I have to do. I'm working a program for alcoholism and from experience I know that if I continue doing what I'm doing I'm headed towards a relapse. I Will not have that. It would be the most selfish heinous thing that I could do right now. So I'm starting this journal so that I can be the best version of myself. I just want to be someone that I'm proud of, and I have enough role models to know what that looks like. Just to clarify what that looks like, for future reference, this is someone who is: 1) productive and hard-working to 2) decisive and strong in going for what he wants ( in the way that I speak, my posture, and my overall demeanor) 3) AUTHENTIC – Above all I want to be able to say how I really feel, so long as it's in context and not completely hurtful or spiteful. 4) helpful to others – this isn't always my first instinct. Even writing this on the list I had to go back. But I know that this will help all of my problems. I'm going to add to this a lot over the upcoming months. But for now these are enough quality to have on my plate. ,So without further ado here are my goals for the day: 1) finish all of my catching up with clients. 2) make an AA meeting. 3) help my girlfriend with furniture. 4) make all of my AA commitments. Thanks to everyone, I look forward to being a part of this community.
Go Ben! Congrats on making this thread! It's a small effort that will help you so much in staying on track. Keep it up! Did you get the 1st days goals done?
Not going to lie, I'm getting off to a really slow start today. I got some things done yesterday, but not everything. I've been on top of it before, and I know that feeling, and part of me misses it. But there's also something nice about the gratification I get from watching a TV show I like, or sleeping.. I value myself as a hard worker. They're so much more I could do. Those first steps are difficult. I hope you have the sterno will help me get past them. At any rate yesterday was better than the two days before it. But not nearly as good as where I was three weeks ago. Somehow I just stopped putting in all the effort. It gets easier and easier to do less and less. Frankly I'm tired of it, not as proud of myself as I could be. But I don't know if pride is a healthy reward for my actions. At any rate today I would like to make to AA meetings, and finish what I can with my clients.
Having a much better day today. Got up at 5:50 and did what I had to do. I've been at work, could've worked harder, but it's a huge improvement from yesterday and even bigger improvement from the day before. Overall I'm proud of myself. The things that I have on my list that I can complete our completed. I can always go prospecting for new clients though, and I didn't do it as much as I could today. But props myself for doing it at all
Hello Benjamin. I love the part that you stated that you wanted to BE AUTHENTIC! Being authentic is the best thing that one can do for themselves to improve. If you can't be true to yourself then what does what does that say for your goals? Are they even real? The results will not be true and you will still find yourself on the same hamster wheel wishing and hoping to improve. Keep up the great work and remember, just showing up is an accomplishment in itself! ~Dan
